This morning we buried my Father's ashes...It's seemed so long and drawn out, but a medical examiner had decided that they needed to COMPLETELY investigate everything since Dad had fallen when in the hospital and passed away within 30 days of the fall...protocol schmotocol...really irritating since he had a chest x-ray confirming the pneumonia AND my mother has to pay for the investigation that she DIDN'T ask for...Can you tell this irritated me? What do folks who have limited finances do? Really something...
ANYWAY, it was a gloomy, drizzly day and we stood around the small hole that was dug in the ground...I hadn't expected to cry and didn't even bring Kleenex...but looked up at Mom and saw tears streaming down her face. She looked so small...It just hit me that this was the end...As the tears came, my nephew reached around my shoulders to hold me...a touching moment for me and I appreciate his thoughtfulness...So, we prayed and that was the end of it all....We went to warm up with some coffee and reminisced some more in the warm coffee shop.
My kind boss has given me the full day off, so DD2 and I started running some errands. I really enjoy her company. We went and processed my International Driving permit for our Greece trip. I am about to look at stored digital pix in the camera...I hope I come upon some of Dad.
Food is back on the healthy track and my exercise and vigor are back as well. I was thinking of Dad as I walked along and I used the time to realize that much of my health depends on my actions. I need to feed and exercise my body to keep it in top-running condition. Also, as I walked, I felt beautiful...Does that sound weird? I didn't feel it "except for" or "in spite of" something. I just felt whole. I wouldn't give anything to be any different age, or in any different place in life. I am so grateful to be right here, the blessed person that I am. I think Dad was hugging me.
Here's a pic of my grandmother, who turned 90 yrs old yesterday! With her is my DD1, Joanna, who just earned her MBA. I'm so proud of both of them.
Blessings and Peace to all!
2 comments:
Margaret, your posts are beautiful as always. So glad you could say goodbye together to your sweet Daddy and know that he´s in peace and with you always. Your DD1 is sooooo pretty, and so like you. Love seeing family photos. Your grandmother is so tiny and looks so alive and alert. Hope all´s well with you too...you are doing so well with your Good Eating and Exercises. Will keep my fingers crossed for all good things to come your way....
Lynda
Loved you comment about feeling your dad was with you on your walk and that you felt beautiful. You are such a gifted writer, Margaret.
Thanks for sharing the photo of your beautiful daughter and your grandmother who looks terrific! We should all be so lucky at her age.
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