My Dad

So, my DM came through her surgery well. Of course, it's too early to tell if it was a complete success, but she woke up from the surgery and was able to leave the outpatient clinic. What did she come home to, though? 2 police cars that had been summoned by my shaken DS, who had been keeping an eye on my Dad....

I had gotten the news when calling to check in to see if DS had heard any news of DM. She answered the phone and was crying. Her words were, "I just called 911 to help with Dad". Ugh...my tummy drops to the floor. I raced over there from work to see the police wrapping things up for themselves, and my Dad was calm and in the house. My DM had been clearly crying, and her DS stood by in disbelief at the situation.

DF has Alzheimer's disease. It's a disease that has robbed me of my father. This empty shell of a confused man is not the dear man that supported, encouraged and loved me all my life. The disease is unfair, as all diseases seem to be. But, his symptoms are getting more combative and he isn't 70 until October. He's still quite strong and very strong-willed. DS had been trying to distract him from his focus on going on the side of the garage where a wall drops off a couple of feet. She'd get in front of him and talk to him, but she was impeding his progress and he was having none of it. He reached out to hit her many times and grabbed her hair. Thankfully, no one was physically hurt, but the episodes have been increasing in frequency and severity.

DM has gotten used to some of the behaviors and has used used suggested resolutions like covering the back door with a sheet at night to keep him from wandering out. With her surgery, though, she's spent and needs recovery herself.

Today's activities include a visit to a lawyer's office to activate the POA for Health Care. Of course, this is new to us, and we weren't aware that more had to be done other than the drawing up the original signed consent with witnesses. It all seems too convoluted to have to deal with in an emergency situation. Then, after the activation, we hope to have him placed for a couple of days to start some psychotropic medications to control his hallucinations and paranoid delusions that lead to the combative behavior.

When leaving my parent's house last night, I called my DD1 and said, "I want a pound of chocolate, followed by a pack of cigarettes, topped off with a bottle of booze"....Yes, I wanted those things but am no longer comfortable using any of those methods of "soothing" myself. To top it off, I was too pooped to get my workout in.

I got home, hugged DH, showered, cried in the shower, ate a bowl of multigrain cereal and went to bed. Thankfully, I got some sleep, although I woke up before the alarm and can feel my eyes stinging from the crying today...This morning's thoughts included deserting everyone and everything by running away...Yep, can't do that either! No great sorrow, no great joy...as the saying goes.

So, I pray "without ceasing" and beg God to care for all of us like He's promised to. "Call upon Me in the day of trouble, I will deliver you and you will glorify Me." I've seen His miracles before and I must remind myself of those past miraculous interventions to keep my spirits up and hopeful. DD and DM really don't deserve any of this. They've been kind and loving parents and I pray for their relief in all of this.

Don't know what the day will bring, but I walk with the Lord. I've reminded Him, "You promised God!". Right now I'm envisioning Him hugging me and telling me everything is going to be all right...just like all the other times.

Hugs,

Margaret